Irresistible Attraction--Secret Maneuvers, Book 2 by Amanda Adams

Author:Amanda Adams [Adams, Amanda]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Tydbyts Media

6

Sara

* * *

When I woke up, I reached over for Josh, only to realize that he wasn’t in bed. I glanced at the alarm clock. Two a.m. I frowned. Josh had been suffering from insomnia for the past two weeks, ever since we’d gotten engaged.

I’d wanted to believe that after his declaration at my job that everything would work out between us, but as the days had passed, I’d sensed that he was restless. He was distracted, unable to sleep, and he wasn't eating much, either. If he didn’t have work down at a construction site, he’d stay home and watch the news, his expression grave. I knew he was thinking about his fellow Marines who were still overseas. He felt guilty about being safe at home while they continued to risk their lives. It wasn’t hard to see.

But didn’t Josh deserve to be safe after all that he’d sacrificed being in the military?

I certainly thought so, but he didn’t, and I doubted most of them would. Marines shared a bond that I hadn’t really seen in the other branches, or at least that I’d heard of.

I didn’t know how to talk to him. I was terrified that he’d abandon me again, thinking that I deserved better than a man like him. It didn’t matter how much I loved him; I knew I couldn’t keep him tethered to my side like some wild bird of prey. He also suffered from nightmares, and I wondered if that was what had woken him up this time.

Instead of lying in bed wondering, I went searching for him, only to discover him in front of the TV, drinking a beer and watching more news coverage. In the bright light of the TV, his face looked stark and thin. He had dark circles underneath his eyes. I sat down next to him wordlessly, linking my arm with his.

He hugged me to his side, which soothed me a little. At least he didn’t begrudge my presence here. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, what was keeping him from sleeping, but looking at the tightness of his jaw and the way he gripped his can of beer, I knew he didn’t want to talk about it.

I had some experience with the men in my family suffering from PTSD. My dad and my brother had both had symptoms. Daniel especially had nightmares when he’d returned from the war, and I’d heard him cry out in the middle of the night when he’d lived in my house those few months. He’d blamed himself for the deaths of two of his best friends, and it had only been with Chloe’s help that he’d read the letters his friends had written in case they died overseas. Chloe had given him the courage to work through the immense pain and guilt.

She’d done amazing things for him, and I wanted to do the same for Josh. It would be hard for both of us, I imagined, but I wanted him to lean on me.

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